I don't see anything now, so just say what you wanna say.

It's kind of funny how I'm not listening anyway.

I like having problems with myself. I'm not going to deny that I get a rush when people tell me that I shouldn't do things and that it's not good for me. I like the feeling of doing dangerous things. I mean, it almost feels like my duty to let you all live vicariously through me. At least it means that you won't have to go through what I do, plus I get all the kicks.

But I feel like I've been shaping up. I feel clean. Frankly, I don't like that. Problem is, I can't afford to be problematic. I don't like that either.

I miss it. But I'm also afraid of losing certain things that I've worked pretty hard to get.

Does that make me a coward or a hero?