Picking up my brain

AP scores were much better than I expected: 3 on Macro Econ and 5 on Gov. So that's exciting.
I also spent some Quality time with Katie and Album and Zach in my tent the other night, even though Album and Zach didn't leave until 4 in the morning because they're bad at hints.

Um, Carl is gone for beach vault. I'll see him Saturday night briefly and then sunday possibly? I don't really know how it's going to work out because right after he comes home, he'll be leaving for summer camp. Somewhere in between I'll see him, or so he says. I'm gonna miss him like crazy though :/
However, it will give me time to spend with other people! So hit me up!

I only have one other thing to say really.

My sister is really pathetic. She acts like she doesn't deserve anything bad that happens to her, especially when it's payback from me.


P.S. I'm actually kind of looking forward to school, but don't tell anybody.

She said "What?" and I told her that I didn't know.

First few days of summer have been perfect. Really.


A toast to it staying that way.
There are approximately 11 weekends left. There will be NO wasting them.

I. don't. care what you think

I love Pizza Hut pizza.
With chicken and pepperoni and green pepper and onion, and a cheese stuffed crust.

I also love having money to afford such a pizza.

That waitress I was seeing lost her desire for me;

I neglect things, sometimes a little too often. But I always have good intentions. At least I can say I know that.
I feel like change. I feel excited. I feel happy, but I still miss him a lot. I still feel like crying a whole lot, but hey, I don't do that a whole lot anymore.
Maybe I'm just growing up, but I'm happy where I am. Scout's honor.

And you know what? I'm not sorry for losing you as a friend, though I'm not sure if we're Quite all the way there yet. I don't look at you and think about the great adventures we could have had together anymore, when instead you called up someone else. I don't even really want to be part of your life anymore. When you can make time for everything in the world but me, no, I'm not sorry. Granted, I never did make too much effort to contact you either, but at least I still did, which is something you certainly haven't done. And you, who doesn't read this anymore anyways, take this for what you will. I'd love to spend some time with you, but note, we don't have anything in common anymore, and your stories are wasted on me. I'll still always listen, but, maybe actually I won't be.


And if you don't mind, I'd like to move on with my life, to where I know I'm supposed to be going, and yes, I think I know where I'm supposed to be going. It's kind of scary, but I really think I know what I'm doing.



She said she wouldn't set herself on fire for me, anymore.

"Uh, ma'am, what are you, on crack?"

What the fuck is up with Global Test Market lately?
I just took three surveys.
The first one [which the browser tab secretly relayed to me was about Ebay Ad Effectiveness], the first Question: What is your favorite color?

• Razzmatazz
• Fuluu Red
• Chartreuse, 

...and then about five other words that I had never heard of, nor knew how to pronounce (and I have a really great vocabulary).
Second Question: What is your Quest?

... so naturally I responded with the lyrics to the Pokemon theme song. At which point they began to ask me what my favorite movie was, and then the page redirected and I had been screened out of the survey.

Second survey, first Question: How old are you?
Simple enough. Then the page redirected, and then a popup appeared from the task bar that said "Survey at Global Test Market says:

'SNIFF!!'"

I clicked OK, the only option available, at which point I was screened out of that one.

Third survey, started out fine. Then about the fifth Question, they showed a series of pictures of bedspreads and pillow case designs, all of them are very poorly photoshopped to look different (it was the same photo of the bed with different colors), and asked me to pick the four I liked most.
... so I did. Then they asked me to explain why I chose the one that I picked first.
SURVEY OVER, 70 points.


WTF?

Carnivore and Voyeur

I'm tired, and bored, and lonely.
I feel like I'm not in the loop on something. There's something missing.
Or maybe everything I have is just not enough?
I don't know, hence the problem.

I miss you.
Being apart so much has made me a little bitter.
Even when we're together, we're not, really.
I haven't been honestly and completely happy in a long time.
I know you've been able to see it.
I'm just glad that it's only a few more days now, instead of weeks.
Please, love, don't mess it up again. I really can't take anymore.

Time to allocate

I want these books:

* The Sirens of Titan
* Mother Night
* God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater
* Slaughterhouse-Five
* Breakfast of Champions
* Slapstick
* Jailbird
* Deadeye Dick
* Hocus Pocus
* Timequake

I'm buying Carl a new hoodie
I'm getting myself one as well, or rather, my dad is, for my birthday
There were other things too, for Carl, but my memory is lacking… sorry, love.
We still need to go out to dinner
He owes me a breakfast date as well (which includes the night before and watching the sunrise)
He's also supposed to get me a new shirt
Still things we need to do.
Go to the drive in
(me personally) Go out to lunch with Katie, Liz(, others?)
Go to the zoo, the planetarium, the beach
Camping out in the tent for a while. I want to try for most of the summer. I want to see if we can get a new tent.
Celebrate valentine's
Play in the rain and watch Lightning outside under a gazebo
Plant flowers
Lay in the field at night and watch shooting stars (April 21st is next, about 3 a.m., so take a nap early on!)
Spend a day (and money) at Great Lakes Crossing together
Create something beautiful that I can really be proud of


Also, I want to go to build-a-bear.

She didn't make it this far just shaking hands.

I really never thought I'd say it, but that is a badass Nickelback song.
It really doesn't even sound like them.


By the way, I made $30 for babysitting overnight. In terms of the total hours I spent at their house (about 16), I made less than $2 an hour. However in terms of the total hours I was actually babysitting (about 3), I think I did pretty good. And I got to spend a night to myself watching every movie that I'd ever wanted to see from the last two years (Jason's dad bootlegged about 70 different ones), and in the morning, Jason's brother was already there. Besides, they're family, so I don't expect them to pay me a whole lot.

And I'm not going to tell them, but while I was watching movies, I kept hearing noises over the baby monitor. Some of them were Paige moving around in bed, but at one point, a man's voice definitely said "Hi," and for a little while I kept hearing sort of a half breathing, half moaning noise. It was like someone sighing and as they exhaled, they started to moan.
Yeah. A little bit creepy, but that's all that happened.


So now, I'm off to shower and then maybe do homework.


I miss you a lot and I really wish that I could see you sometime soon.

And I'm gonna hold you tight to that night we had a ball,

We had a ball.

Here's to the kids out there smoking in the streets:
They're way too young, but I'm way too old to preach.
They know it all, but they still ain't seen the truth.
Just play my song and I'll show it all to you.

We ain't even been to the ocean,
We've been running barefoot in the streets.
We've been running barefoot through the streets,
We ain't even been to the ocean.



It's nearly midnight. Had a perfect day. Did good on my final(s sort of). Got a near perfect score on my presentation that I was completely unprepared for and basically made up on the spot. I suppose I'm good at winging it, but it's always nerve-wracking. From what I can remember now, pretty much winged every speech I've had to give in any of my English classes so far in high school. Quoth Amsdill: "Very professional" and "I can tell you practiced a lot."
Hah.


As for tomorrow (today's) final, I'm not sure. Well, about Econ. Since it's entirely multiple choice, I stand a much better chance. Especially after Jeopardy. Physics I should be okay on. Should. I tend to make silly mistakes and forget things though. I guess we'll just have to see.


Thursday should be a bitch though. I don't expect to get anything higher than a D on Anselm's. Granted, I'm not studying, but also I'm not going to be in that class next semester, nor will I be taking the AP Calculus test, so that class is irrelevant to me. And French class is still a joke as far as most are concerned, and I am NEVER worried about it. Hopefully, I won't have to be in it next semester when my final schedule changes are made, so it is also Quite possibly irrelevant.


:P


Tomorrow (today) I'm going to Carl's meet thing. After school Thursday I have a pizza party/ NAHS meeting and then babysitting, and Friday possibly that open skating thing that I have just noticed on facyspacy.



In some random news, a school in Maryland(?) has banned the Merriam-Webster dictionary from their classrooms because it contains the definition for oral sex. YEAH. Because last time I checked, it was a DICTIONARY and contained DEFINITIONS. Of WORDS AND PHRASES. Some of which being penis, vagina, sex, rape, masturbation, bestiality, sodomy, and the like. Feel free to let your imagination substitute more equally graphic entries.
And it may shock you all to learn this but, the dictionary has ALWAYS featured them (Unbelievable, I know).
Also, the kids that discovered it were in 6th grade. A full year into getting sex-ed. I doubt their "fragile minds" will be damaged.





People are so stupid.

Another example: A mother in Georgia forced her NINE YEAR OLD son to kill his pet hamster with a hammer for getting a bad grade in class.

I hope that leaves you with some happy thoughts.
Nighty night and stuff.

I want to say it's to me to change the world

I rearranged my room yesterday after school. I decided that I didn't like it the way it was anymore. It didn't feel like my room. It felt like I was living in a rabbit pen (understandably). Well, now it's mine again. I feel like I've gained more space, but at the same time I feel like I've lost some. However, I'm definitely more organized.

Still not motivated.
My art project is almost done because I found a good set of oil pastels and fixed all of the mistakes in my picture. Which is fantastic because I've been struggling to fix the same part over and over again for the entire week or so before break, and yesterday, getting about zero progress from when class began to when it ended. There are a few final touches I'll need, but that shouldn't take long at all. Our next project is something with cartoons. Hilarious because, the entire point of that class is to draw realistically, without outlines, and NOT cartoon-ish. Mr. Dimmer also claims that we will have a second project before the semester ends, but I feel like that is wishful thinking.

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I still haven't really done any math homework. I mean to, I just don't end up actually doing it. I suppose I'm just waiting until this semester is over with so that I can be done with that class. The final is going to obliterate me though.

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I sat in the back of the bus today, where all of the annoying sophomore guys sit. There weren't really other seats on the bus, and Chad/Ryan and Nate sit back there, and also, I couldn't give a fuck if they want me there or not. Anyway, I sat down and the kid in the seat started complaining, "Really? Why here? There's like, a million other seats over there!" "So? I sat here. What's the matter, are you gay? Don't like girls?" So he scoffed and turned around and basically pouted. And then the kid across from me said, "Who the hell are you?" and before I could say anything, Nate kind of put him back in his place and told him that he needs to have a little respect, which I appreciated. Sometimes I feel like Nate doesn't like me very much.

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Overall things so far haven't been too terrible at school. I mean of course I hate doing work, and I hate most of the people that I have to interact with, but I can look at it and see that it's only 6 hours out of my day, and even more so, each class is only one hour out of my day. Sometimes I just need perspective on things.
The one thing I must say I've hated about school so far, is that it's so ingrained into my system that even after a two week break, waking up at 6 in the morning, running on less sleep than I should, didn't feel unnatural. In fact, on the way to school yesterday, I almost forgot about the fact that we had even taken a vacation at all.



Well, nighty night sleep tight.
I'm hungry, and I'm gonna eat.