Time ticks by and you're the only one who misses it.

Our T.V. broke.













You have no idea of how much I fucking hate you. It's your fault.

Est queadam fiere voluptas, hinc illae lacrimae.

I had a mental breakdown when I was in the shower.
I dipped my head into the water and closed my eyes. When I opened them back up, I looked around at everything and came to the realization that nothing in there was mine. Everything was foreign. I saw things through the eyes of a stranger. Through the eyes of someone who didn't belong. How long had I looked at that bathroom and felt the familiarity? How long had I looked at it and felt that I belonged? I am a stranger, and truth rings in my words: I am homeless. I don't live here. I have a room, but it's not mine. I eat the food, but it's not for me. I don't know why I'm here anymore. I feel like a ghost wandering through the house. I feel like I'm forgotten. I feel like everyone else has found their place except for me. I really just want to leave, but I can't because I have no where to go.

It hurts because I can see how much I want to belong. How much my father wants me to belong. But I just can't see it anymore.

I can't handle this.
What the hell am I going to do?





Pavesco, pavesco.

You... Better... Make them earn it!

So, I get this phone call, right? Liz is still over from coming with me to the football game. We're about to drive her home. It's her boy.
"Hey, what're you doing?"
"Taking Liz home."
"Oh. You wanna go for a walk?"
"I'm taking Liz home."
"Right. Yeah, when you get back, do you think you'd mind buying me a 79¢ Vault?"
"Um.. sure?"
"OK. Call me when you get back." Needless to say, I took Liz home and when I came back I called him up.
"Hey."
"Hey! What's that kid's address?"
"Um.. hold on."
"Never mind. You're coming with us. We'll pick you up in Nick's car."
"Uh..."
"No wait, Kenny's gonna pick you up in his car."
"Sure?" So I told my dad I was going out. He told me to be back by midnight, which I was fine with. That gave me a little more than 2 hours. I figured I wouldn't be gone for that long.

I walk outside and Kenny pulls up in his car. He's in the driver's seat. Nick is riding shotgun, and Dillon, Jimmy, and that guy that I can never remember the name of are squeezed in the back seat. It was already pretty crowded, and I certainly didn't make it better by climbing in between them. We drove out of the neighborhood and drove to the bank so that Jimmy could get some money. He got about $45, from the bank that my dad goes to, so we made small talk about the weird-ass British voice that's on the ATM. Well, then we drive to Beech and Schoolcraft, where Ryan lives. We drove up his street once and then turned around and went back because we couldn't find his house. Dillon and Nick were calling him on their cell phones and telling him to give the $25 back (there was $5 tax for running with it). Ryan didn't feel like being very co-operative and told them to go ahead and come to his house and see what the fuck would happen. Considering there were 5 guys with me in the car who were all quite big and ready to beat the shit out of him, they took his threat lightly. Well, Kenny not sure of where his house was decided to park and we would just walk back to his house. It was like, at the other end of the street, so there was some walking, but it wasn't too bad.

We all show up at his house and he won't come out. I can see both him and Barry in the windows looking out and Nick and Dillon are talking to him on the phone while we're all hanging out on their front porch. Dillon took a seat on one of the chairs and was pretty relaxed. I'd say at that point we all were, it's not like we expected this to go anywhere really. Ryan finally opens the door though and he's got this big showy knife that he was obviously expecting to intimidate us with. It didn't do anything obviously. Nick bargained with him and told him to give us $25 or something worth $25 that we could sell or hold until we got money. Ryan clearly wasn't too into giving away his shit, or paying me back either, and he told us all to get the fuck off his porch. Dillon decided that we should take the gas can filled with gas as payment, to at least make the trip over here worth something. So, Ryan came out and was freaking out about the gas and was trying to take it back. He was trying to be tough and shove people off the porch and kept grabbing at the gas can, which Dillon easily kept away from him. Ryan's brother Barry though, came out with a pellet gun and was like shooting at us as we were all walking away towards the car. It hit Kenny in the leg, but it wasn't like, painful or anything, but we all started running towards the car (which, mind you, was at the other end of the street). Ryan ran after Dillon, who had the gas can, and tried to trip him but only fell on his own face. Well I kept running with Jimmy and Dillon towards the car and Nick and Kenny and What's-his-name stayed back to deal with Ryan and Barry. I'm not really sure of exactly what happened with them, but they told basically what went down. Well, Kenny was fighting Ryan with that knife, and Dillon told me that Kenny is always talking about how he would fight people with weapons, specifically knives, and kick their ass. So, they were fighting and Kenny was trying to disarm him so that they could beat his face in. Ryan ended up cutting Kenny's hand, but not really enough to do damage. Just sort of a little graze on the end of his finger. At that point, I'm not sure what happened to Barry or anything, I know that Nick and Kenny and the other one started walking back towards the car. They were a little ways off and they saw that Ryan and Barry had gotten in their mom's minivan and were gonna follow us.

So, we all got in the car and took off. Dillon told Kenny just to keep going the speed limit and go to Detroit, but Kenny said they were gonna stop and get gas because he wasn't afraid of those guys and that they wouldn't do anything in front of other people. He pulls in to the station on the corner, right? And obviously Ryan pulls in along side of us and says that we should go the fuck home and that he'll follow us there and fuck the house up. Kenny wasn't too worried and so he got back in the car and told them to go ahead and follow us home. His thought was that we should go to Detroit and lose him in the side streets. Which is exactly what we did.

We ripped around a bunch of side streets, making a shit load of lefts, for whatever reason. We're driving all over the fucking place, running through stop signs and burning around corners faster than you can imagine trying to lose them. It took a little while, but we took this crazy right turn for once onto this bitchin' dirt road with potholes and shit all over the place. We ripped over that piece of road-I don't even know how we didn't break anything on the car-and finally lost Ryan because his car couldn't go over that dirt road very fast, and we peeled away on the pavement and made a few more lefts just in case.

It was seriously an epic car chase. That dirt road shit was unbelievable. We rode over it so smoothly, like we were flying. My heart was pounding so fast; I don't think I've ever had that much fun aside from, like, sex.

Anyways, when we finally lost them, everyone threw down and we bought 3/4 of an ounce while we were in the neighborhood. All I had was the money left over from the football game, which was about $8. $3 went to gas for Kenny's car for running all over and fucking with Ryan, and obviously the other $5 went into the pile. It wasn't much, but it got me a cut of about a gram and a half, which was a nice night's haul for me because I really wasn't expecting much to happen. All of the guys said that it was really fun and that now they can get messed up and fuck with him all the time now, which I really don't mind. I mean, he was a good friend of mine and then he ran with my money, which, was actually Katie's money, and then he kept lying about it. He's a total asshole and he deserves everything he gets from them.

Anyway, after I got my cut, we all went to Kenny's where I bagged it and hung out for about 10 minutes. Really, just enough time for the guys to get a few bong hits. I didn't hit it because I was obviously going home shortly thereafter. Dillon walked me home after that because our neighborhood is creepy as fuck at night a lot of the time. It was timed pretty nicely though because we left Kenny's at 11:50 and I got back at exactly midnight.


I'd say, unexpectedly, my night was pretty fucking epic.

Just by the look of it, as in the way you wrote me off

I'm not supposed to see
Your eyes tell lies your mouth could never spill
I wasn't feeling it
I don't even need to shake your hand
I guess you were born to quit
Your eyes tell lies your mouth could never spill
Your eyes tell lies you mouth could never spill

So nice to meet you
I see right through that smile so in other words
So nice to meet you
I hope I never see your face again

Don't want a part of it
Don't want to be seen with a type like you
I know you were born to quit
Your eyes tell lies your mouth could never spill
Can we get on with it
We both need to go our separate ways
And never be seen again
Your eyes tell lies your mouth could never spill
Your eyes tell lies your mouth could never spill

So nice to meet you
I see right through that smile so in other words
So nice to meet you
I hope I never see your face again

The devil beside you
To watch you die when you can't find a remedy
So nice to meet you
I hope I never see your face again
I hope I never see your face
I hope I never see your face again

I hope I never see
I hope I never see your face
I hope I
I hope I
I hope I
I hope I never see your face

So nice to meet you
I see right through that smile so in other words
So nice to meet you
I hope I never see your face again

The devil beside you
To watch you die cause you can't find a remedy
So nice to meet you
I hope I never see your face I
I hope I never see your face I
I hope I never see your face again!

Nice to see your true colors. It's not a crime, but you don't have to be a dick.
Well now you can rest assured that I will never come around.

It's been years since I sold my soul.

Ai
Gidget
Jax
Mae



Which one is better? I was going for something that sounded like it could fit me and was completely unrelated to my name.

I'm one step closer to the edge and I'm about to break.

*sigh*
I'm not gonna be around to see this all end; you really ought to know your friends,
Cause I'm not one of them.


On a different note*, I know you're not going to listen to what any of us has to say. We thought you were joking. I think maybe you thought you were joking. I just hope you know exactly what you got yourself into. But please, don't lie to yourself and say that you like him in the way that you want to. Have fun with him, use him, lose him, I don't care, but don't try and tell me that you are seriously expecting this to work out, or to even get off the ground. Don't make a relationship out of something you don't have.


The only other thing that irks me right now is imposing. You are welcome, but you don't belong. Keep that in mind next time. It's mostly my fault for feeling rude, but I get that from my father.


I like being so close to all of my friends and having the freedom to just leave when I feel like leaving, but I have to say, I miss being at my mom's house. There's not one real reason. I suppose it's the baby, maybe my room, but mostly that dog. I was there for 10 minutes and when that time was up, I didn't want to leave.
My jeans were covered in dog fur and juice. One of the best feelings in my life.


My basement has come alive. The rest of my house has died. I feel like it's only me in this house. Half of the time I forget that my dad is here. Less than that for Ronda. I frequently forget that we own a hamster. How that thing survives is anyone's guess. Someone must be feeding it, but it hasn't been cleaned in many long months.


I have decided I'm completely lost when it comes to you. I never know what the fuck is going on with you, and it's not like you feel motivated to tell anyone. I would take an interest, but the point is probably moot.


I haven't seen you either Missy. Barely talked to you, haven't seen you, never made plans with you. I feel bad. Let's do something this week. Seriously. It will be just like Meloche's except with less Biology and more sex.


Sometimes you just don't get it. You really are just oblivious. Or maybe you're not and you do it on purpose? Either way, you really just bug me sometimes.


I never understood why anyone ever liked you ever. You are worthless to society, your thoughts aren't worth shit and you think you need to solve everyone's problems. Why must you be revered for stepping over the boundaries into places you don't belong? You're not a god and no one should treat you like one. I really think that no one should talk to you period.


You're still flawless. I just wish you could come around more. Come around and stay.

You should take more time.

I went to the Woodward Dream Cruise. Nothing really stood out. It was like any other car show, just more walking, and less variety. Plus, it wasn't so much fun because no one is allowed to do burnouts or race.

Look at me, talking as if I know anything about cars. Ha.










The lunar eclipse doesn't even apply to us tonight.

Forever and Ever.

There is an inn, a merry old inn

. beneath an old grey hill,

And there they brew a beer so brown

That the Man in the Moon himself came down

. one night to drink his fill.

The ostler has a tipsy cat

. that plays a five-stringed fiddle;

And up and down he runs his bow,

Now squeaking high, now purring low,

. now sawing in the middle.

The landlord keeps a little dog

. that is mighty fond of jokes;

When there's good cheer among the guests,

He cocks an ear at all the jests

. and laughs until he chokes.

They also keep a hornêd cow

. as proud as any queen;

But music turns her head like ale,

And makes her wave her tufted tail

. and dance upon the green.

And O! the rows of silver dishes

. and the stores of silver spoons!

For Sunday there's a special pair,

And these they polish up with care

. on Saturday afternoons.

The Man in the Moon was drinking deep,

. and the cat began to wail;

A dish and a spoon on the table danced,

The cow in the garden madly pranced,

. and the little dog chased his tail.

The Man in the Moon took another mug,

. and then rolled beneath his chair;

And there he dozed and dreamed of ale,

Till the sky and stars were pale,

. and dawn was in the air.

Then the ostler said to his tipsy cat:

. 'The white horses of the Moon,

They neigh and champ their silver bits;

But their master's been and drowned his wits,

. and the Sun'll be rising soon!'

So the cat on his fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,

. a jig that would wake the dead:

He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune,

While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon

. 'It's after three!' he said.

They rolled the Man slowly up the hill

. and bundled him into the Moon,

While his horses galloped up in rear,

And the cow came capering like a deer,

. and a dish ran up with the spoon.

Now quicker the fiddle went deedle-dum-diddle;

. the dog began to roar,

The cow and the horses stood on their heads;

The guests all bounded from their beds

. and danced upon the floor.

With a ping and a pong the fiddle-strings broke!

. the cow jumped over the Moon,

And the little dog laughed to see such fun,

And the Saturday dish went off at a run

. with the silver Sunday spoon.

The round Moon rolled behind the hill

. as the Sun raised up her head.

She hardly believed her fiery eyes;

For though it was day, to her surprise

. they all went back to bed!

"I don't know what you mean by 'glory,'" Alice said. Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously.
"Of course you don't -- till I tell you. I meant "there's a nice knock-down argument for you!'"
"But `glory' doesn't mean `a nice knock-down argument,'" Alice objected.
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in a rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master -- that's all."

I love little kitty,
Her coat is so warm,
And if I don't hurt her,
She'll do me no harm.
So I'll not pull her tail,
Nor drive her away,
But kitty and I,
Very gently will play.
I'll sit by the fire
and give her some food
and kitty will love me
Because I am good.

I'm dreaming dreams
I'm scheming schemes
I'm building castles high
They're born anew
Their days are few
Just like a sweet butterfly
And as the daylight is dawning
They come again in the morning
I'm forever blowing bubbles
Pretty bubbles in the air
They fly so high
Nearly reach the sky
Then like my dreams
They fade and die
Fortune's always hiding
I've looked everywhere
I'm forever blowing bubbles
Pretty bubbles in the air.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.
Up Jack got and home did trot
As fast as he could caper;
And went to bed and covered his head
In vinegar and brown paper.
When Jill came in how she did grin
To see Jack's paper plaster;
Mother vexed, did whip her next,
For causing Jack's disaster.
Now Jack did laugh and Jill did cry
But her tears did soon abate;
Then Jill did say that they should play
At see-saw across the gate.

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jump over the candlestick
¿Asbestos pants?


Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home,
Your house is on fire,
Your children shall burn!

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and pie.
Along came a spider
and gobbled her up.

Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?
Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?
If the words sound queer and funny to your ear, a little bit jumbled and jivey,
Sing "Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy."

Old Mother Goose,
When she wanted to wander,
Would ride through the air
On a very fine gander.
Jack's mother came in,
And caught the goose soon,
And mounting its back,
Flew up to the moon.

"Oranges and Lemons" say the bells of St Clement's.
"Bull's eyes and targets" say the bells of St Margaret's.
"Brickbats and tiles" say the bells of St Giles'.
"Halfpence and farthings" say the bells of St Martin's.
"Pancakes and fritters" say the bells of St Peter's.
"Two sticks and an apple" say the bells of Whitechapel.
"Pokers and tongs" say the bells of St John's.
"Kettles and pans" say the bells of St Anne's.
"Old Father Baldpate" say the slow bells of Aldgate.
"You owe me ten shillings" say the bells of St Helen's.
"When will you pay me?" say the bells of Old Bailey.
"When I grow rich" say the bells of Shoreditch.
"Pray when will that be?" say the bells of Stepney.
"I do not know" says the great bell of Bow.
Here comes a candle to light you to bed,
Chip chop, chip chop, the last man's dead.

I am a pretty little Dutch girl
As pretty as I can be
And all the boys
In the neighborhood
Are crazy over me
My boyfriend’s name is Mello
He comes from the land of Jello
With pickles for his toes
And a cherry for his nose
And that’s the way my story goes

Row, row, row the boat
Gently down the stream
If you see a waterfall
Don't forget to scream

Propel, propel, propel your craft,
Unforcefully down the liquid solution.
Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
Existence is merely an illusion.

Roll, roll, roll a joint,
Twist it in the end.
Light it up and take a puff,
and pass it to your friends.
Roll, roll, roll the joint,
Pass it down the line.
Take a toke and blow the smoke,
And blow your fucking mind.

Rub-a-dub-dub
Three men in a tub,
The butcher, the baker, the candle stick maker,
If their boat had been stronger
My story would have been longer.

See-saw, Margery Daw,
Sold her bed and lay on straw;
Was not she a dirty slut
To sell her bed and lie in the dirt.

Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a cheat,
Taffy came to my house, and pissed upon the seat,
I went to Taffy's house, Taffy was in bed,
So I climbed in through the window, and kicked him in the head.
Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief,
Taffy came to my house and stole a leg of beef.
I went to Taffy's house, Taffy was in bed,
So I picked up the piss-pot and smashed it on his head.

Tinker, tailor, every mother's son,
Butcher, baker, shouldering a gun,
Rich man, poor man, every man in line,
All together just like Auld Lang Syne!

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky!
When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.
Then the traveller in the dark,
Thanks you for your tiny spark,
He could not see which way to go,
If you did not twinkle so.
In the dark blue sky you keep,
And often through my curtains peep,
For you never shut your eye,
Till the sun is in the sky.
As your bright and tiny spark,
Lights the traveller in the dark,—
Though I know not what you are,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

A wedding song we played for you,
The dance you did but scorn.
A woeful dirge we chanted, too,
But then you would not mourn

Where is Thumbkin? Where is Thumbkin?
Here I am! Here I am!
How are you today, Sir? Very well. I thank you!
Run and hide! Run and hide!

I hear thunder, I hear thunder,
Hark don't you? Hark don't you?
Pit-a-patter raindrops, Pit-a-patter raindrops,
I'm wet through, So are you.

There are seven, there are seven,
Days in the week, days in the week.
Sunday-Monday-Tuesday, Wednesday-Thursday-Friday,
Saturday. That's the week.

Rheumatism, Rheumatism,
How it pains, How it pains,
Up and down my system, Up and down my system,
When it rains, When it rains.

Where is Santa? Where is Santa?
Here I am. Here I am.
Merry, merry Christmas. Merry, merry Christmas.
Ho, Ho, Ho. Ho, Ho, Ho.

School is over, School is over
Home we'll go, Home we'll go
We'll come back tomorrow, We'll come back tomorrow
Bye bye bye, Bye bye bye

Shang, Zhou, Qin, Han; Shang, Zhou, Qin Han;
Sui, Tang, Song; Sui, Tang, Song;
Yuan, Ming, Qing, Republic; Yuan, Ming, Qing, Republic;
Mao Zedong; Mao Zedong;

scanf char, scanf char
switch case break, switch case break
do include return, do include return
int long int , int long int

Goodnight brownies, goodnight brownies
Guiders too, guiders too
Put your hats and coats on, put your hats and coats on
Twit twit twoo! Twit twit twoo!


Round and round the garden,
Went the Teddy Bear,
One step, two steps,
Tickle under there.
Round and round the haystack,
Went the little mouse,
One step, two steps,
In his little house.






Post Script:

The html for copy/paste/coloring these was such a pain in the ass. If I ever have to do that much work EVER again, I am going to throw my computer in the Ganges (from my living room). It took me like... 2 hours to fix the cluttered and useless html that was in it. Not to mention that it took quite a bit of time to find all of these rhymes in the first place and I had to look in a lot of places to get them.

You are now a Pterodactyl

"I don't know if I can make that noise again."



[(Dragon tattoos = Katie = Yes = Win) = (Chelsea = Alex)] < Steve Mehrer because he's better than you.

Please tell me how you're feeling. Tell me that you're OK

Things are different.
I feel different. Out of place. I have all of these worries and they are wracking my brain and I don't like it. It's making me act unusually.



I never thought we would amount to anything

Bonafide hustler making my name

Things feel different.

This road is all you'll ever have

I'm leaving. It feels weird not to be able to post. I mean, I could post from my phone, but why waste money doing it? It's not worth it.

Anyway, bye.