Remember when I moved in you? And the holy dove was moving too?

For a few years now I've thought that I had some from of SAD. It's strange to me now, because I don't feel depressed at all. I feel like things are finally going right for once. And I'm confused. It always started when it got cold, and the leaves were gone, and the sky was dark all day. When it was desolate. And it's like that now; but it's not. Like I said, I'm confused.

I haven't listened to music really since my ipod finally died, but, I don't miss it.
I've found I want simple things.

Lotion and body spray, socks, underwear, a giant gummy bear on a stick, a fish tank, a paint-by-numbers kit, a latch-hook kit, a haircut, a teddy bear, a bathrobe, books, candy. Lots of candy. A photo album, some old disney movies, a board game, bath fizzles.

I want to take a trip to a planetarium. I want to go to the zoo in the winter time. I want to go to COSI in Ohio again.


I love you.
I miss you.
My bunnies are cute :)

I know what to do, if only you would let me.

For the past week or so, my dad's been really passive aggressive about how I've been taking care of my pets. The turtle tank is too dirty. "He doesn't stay underwater because he's having a hard time breathing." Turtles breathe AIR. I can't even tell you how many times I've said that to him. Apparently, it means nothing. I can explain to him all I want about how to take care of this turtle, and he doesn't listen. It's always been that way. But the second anyone else with some "expertise" tells him otherwise, it's fucking law.

He even took the time out today to clean the tank for me. You want to know what he did? He dumped the old water into the toilet, and put new water in from the tap. He even cleaned the filter by dumping out all of the pennies used to keep it submerged, and removing the tape that keeps the top on so that all of the carbon stays inside, and the air tube attached. FUCKING GENIUS. I wonder why I've been doing it the complicated way all of this time when I could just do that?
So, I had to clean it all again myself anyway. Completely unnecessary, and a waste of my time.

And of course it doesn't stop with the turtle. Every time he walks into my room to see the rabbits, EVERY TIME, he says something about how it smells in there. OF COURSE IT FUCKING SMELLS. They're rabbits. And not only that, he hasn't gotten the initiative to buy litter for them, which would absorb most of the smell. And it's not like he ever proposed any other sort of brilliant idea to take care of it. No. He's just got to comment about it.


It's driving me fucking crazy. I'm so pissed off at him all the time, which isn't exactly fair to him because otherwise, he does a lot for me, and I am grateful. I'm just tired of feeling undermined, and ignored. I know what I'm talking about, but as far as he's concerned I'm just talking. And maybe it's OCD, maybe it's the same for everyone, but I can't stand it when someone else does something important like this for me. It's never up to my standards, because obviously, they're not me.


I actually want to spend time at my mom's house. But I know that if I do, the only person left to take care of Minx & Othello, and Frankie, is my dad, and he'll just fuck everything up.

Here's to you Mrs. Robinson,

3 weeks until Thanksgiving break. Another 3 weeks until Christmas break. Another 3 weeks until finals/the semester ends.
So, we're looking at 9 more weeks total.


I have a Question for you.
As you know, I'm going on the trip to France. However, I hate french class, to the point where I don't care about doing anything in it. I really want to drop out of it. But, in order to go on the trip, I have to stay in french class. If I do though, I know my grades will suffer terribly for it. On the other hand, chances are I won't have any other travel opportunities like this for a long time. So the Question is, do I stay in french class to go on the trip, or forfeit it?
I know what I want to do, as I'm sure you could guess, but what do you think?