I had a dream about you, and I tried to kiss you. But I woke up to find that you weren't really there and that I was trying to kiss my wall.
I'll see you later and kiss you for real, I promise.
Jul 14, 2009
oh boy.
(571): non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
(716): do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
(802): PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
(201): and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
(610): Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
(616): who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
(731): Maybe she gives good head
(615): A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
(770): Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
(646): Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
(1-646): what. the. fuck.
(303): Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
(303): Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
(+44): Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
(402): I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
(215): After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
(610): I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
(501): I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
(602): I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
(859): MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
(440): yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
(1-440): and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just something to brighten your day, I guess.
(716): do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
(802): PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
(201): and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
(610): Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
(616): who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
(731): Maybe she gives good head
(615): A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
(770): Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
(646): Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
(1-646): what. the. fuck.
(303): Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
(303): Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
(+44): Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
(402): I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
(215): After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
(610): I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
(501): I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
(602): I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
(859): MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
(440): yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
(1-440): and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just something to brighten your day, I guess.
Jul 10, 2009
And you come crash into me
I need a shower desperately. I've been busy, and lately, and peeved at my mom and Gary.
He's a douchebag. What else is new?
Carl's coming home tomorrow. My mom wants to take me to the beach tomorrow. I want to go to the beach. I don't want to go with my mom and Gary and my sister and Gary's kids and my older sister and her three kids. I want to call Carl and see if he'll be home in time to go to the beach with me (I'm assuming not) (or if maybe him and I could drive up to the beach and meet them there ourselves [I'm assuming not]?). I can't call him though because he had 6 minutes on his phone when he checked before he left, and then he sent me a voice message which takes up a minute or two, and then I texted him last night, so I'm not sure how many he has left (in case someone else has had to text him or call or something), and I don't want to risk using all of them because if I do he'll have to get a new phone number D,:
I'm also supposed to be buying him phone minutes, but I haven't gotten $20 yet, and I'm not sure if I will.
I'll text him and ask him to call me from someone else's phone to talk. That should work. We can see what our options are then.
In the meantime, I need to prepare.
My mother still needs to call his mom!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's a douchebag. What else is new?
Carl's coming home tomorrow. My mom wants to take me to the beach tomorrow. I want to go to the beach. I don't want to go with my mom and Gary and my sister and Gary's kids and my older sister and her three kids. I want to call Carl and see if he'll be home in time to go to the beach with me (I'm assuming not) (or if maybe him and I could drive up to the beach and meet them there ourselves [I'm assuming not]?). I can't call him though because he had 6 minutes on his phone when he checked before he left, and then he sent me a voice message which takes up a minute or two, and then I texted him last night, so I'm not sure how many he has left (in case someone else has had to text him or call or something), and I don't want to risk using all of them because if I do he'll have to get a new phone number D,:
I'm also supposed to be buying him phone minutes, but I haven't gotten $20 yet, and I'm not sure if I will.
I'll text him and ask him to call me from someone else's phone to talk. That should work. We can see what our options are then.
In the meantime, I need to prepare.
My mother still needs to call his mom!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jul 8, 2009
Prisoner F95488
I would just post the story here, but it's kind of long. You should still read all of it though.
Prisoner F95488
Prisoner F95488
The orange I choked
I'm tired of using this blog only for book updates. I'm not really any farther than last time I updated. I'm in the process of finishing and returning Ryan's books. One left, so good news for him.
Anyhow. I was supposed to start the application for my passport, however we don't have the money for it as we are pending shutoff of our electricity and gas at my mom's house. Depending mostly on if they guy who visited our house was nice enough to not write "Pending shutoff" on his report. If he did, we're fucked until Friday or Saturday. If not, we keep our power. I still know how to turn electricity on because of Mr. Calkins. One of the many things I learned in that class (surprisingly enough). Much like ULTRA(plinian)PANTS.
I am also supposed to get a haircut sometime. I still have to call my aunt and set it up, but I don't have her number and it's kind of late to call her right now. Speaking of phonecalls, my mom still needs to call Carl's parents to convince his mom to let him vacation with us.
Another fun part of my day, I had to get my third Gardasil shot. I got it from an intern who had never done it before. And for some reason she needed a urine sample and asked about my period. Routine I'm assuming, but come on. I needed a shot. She also looked like a tramp, and I can imagine that when she's not wearing scrubs, she wears something reminiscent to a tube top and miniskirt and parties at clubs all night. She also tried to make awkward small talk with me. Yeah. Wonderful OB/GYN visit.
I have 5 days left of complete free time. So, if you feel like seeing me, better make plans. I know lots of people are vying for my attention.Though I'll see Carl a little less next week I think, considering we'll probably be vacationing for a week together (still unconfirmed), but I can't guarantee that I will. So again, there's five days left.
Anyhow. I was supposed to start the application for my passport, however we don't have the money for it as we are pending shutoff of our electricity and gas at my mom's house. Depending mostly on if they guy who visited our house was nice enough to not write "Pending shutoff" on his report. If he did, we're fucked until Friday or Saturday. If not, we keep our power. I still know how to turn electricity on because of Mr. Calkins. One of the many things I learned in that class (surprisingly enough). Much like ULTRA(plinian)PANTS.
I am also supposed to get a haircut sometime. I still have to call my aunt and set it up, but I don't have her number and it's kind of late to call her right now. Speaking of phonecalls, my mom still needs to call Carl's parents to convince his mom to let him vacation with us.
Another fun part of my day, I had to get my third Gardasil shot. I got it from an intern who had never done it before. And for some reason she needed a urine sample and asked about my period. Routine I'm assuming, but come on. I needed a shot. She also looked like a tramp, and I can imagine that when she's not wearing scrubs, she wears something reminiscent to a tube top and miniskirt and parties at clubs all night. She also tried to make awkward small talk with me. Yeah. Wonderful OB/GYN visit.
I have 5 days left of complete free time. So, if you feel like seeing me, better make plans. I know lots of people are vying for my attention.Though I'll see Carl a little less next week I think, considering we'll probably be vacationing for a week together (still unconfirmed), but I can't guarantee that I will. So again, there's five days left.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)