Dec 24, 2008
My uncle is so racist, it's unbelievable.
There's a picture of my sister and a friend of hers on the fridge. Her friend happens to be black. And a guy. He asked me what the deal was with that. He asked if he was her boyfriend. I told him that he was just a friend from her elementary school who moved away. Then he asked if he died. I told him he didn't, and he said, "He should have."
He proceeded to ask me if my boyfriend was black and then told me that I better NEVER have a black boyfriend or he'd kill him and me.
There's a picture of my sister and a friend of hers on the fridge. Her friend happens to be black. And a guy. He asked me what the deal was with that. He asked if he was her boyfriend. I told him that he was just a friend from her elementary school who moved away. Then he asked if he died. I told him he didn't, and he said, "He should have."
He proceeded to ask me if my boyfriend was black and then told me that I better NEVER have a black boyfriend or he'd kill him and me.
Because I don't have an answer from him, I NEED an answer from you.
"I mean, I can see where they're coming from. It's the holidays, you should spend it with family. Sorry."
It seems I hear that a lot from you. Are you? Because you don't seem to understand. I KNOW how many holidays I'm going to have with you. I've had a lot of them already. But I couldn't see him last year, and I can't know if I will next year.
This is another example of why I FUCKING HATE YOU.
I'm leaving whether you like it or not.
"I mean, I can see where they're coming from. It's the holidays, you should spend it with family. Sorry."
It seems I hear that a lot from you. Are you? Because you don't seem to understand. I KNOW how many holidays I'm going to have with you. I've had a lot of them already. But I couldn't see him last year, and I can't know if I will next year.
This is another example of why I FUCKING HATE YOU.
I'm leaving whether you like it or not.
I just had the weirdest dream. We were in detroit playing in a park, and on our way home, someone told me that I didn't have any friends, so the next day on the bus, I brought a giant glass teletubbies mural (covered in hearts and magic wands?) and when those kids who told me I didn't have any friends got on the bus, i showed them that mural and somehow that proves that I have friends and the entire bus broke into song except these two guys who couldn't manage to rhyme their part of the song. So Katie and liz and I were making fun of them, when our bus stopped on the side of the school. We walked aways, and for some reason I was inside the mural (it was cylindrical), so I had to get out, and I leaned on a row of lockers (which magically materialized outside of the school), but when I jumped out the glass broke except one big piece that had the teletubbies on it. Then, we found a bolt door leading to the Aud (which is a recurring thing in my dream). It's sort of like a tiny steel door about 2 feet tall and wide that leads to a hallway which sort of resembles the catwalk. Anyway, they normally don't open this bolt door, but they said we should use our magic wands to open it. I think they were being sarcastic, but because of all the pieces of the teletubbies mural that were magic wands, people picked them up and pointed them at the door and it flew open! Everyone cheered (although I'm not sure where all these other people came from) and I went into the bolt door with what was left of my mural and then realized I had to climb down about three flights of vertical stairs, and then I woke up.
By the way, I was up every two hours puking my brains out last night. That was also really fun, and it seems my sister is sick like that too. I hope Carl isn't. I don't want to ruin his trip, but it seems like it passes over pretty Quickly. I don't feel anything right now, and I'm not sick in any other way either.
Whatever. I miss you guys.
By the way, I was up every two hours puking my brains out last night. That was also really fun, and it seems my sister is sick like that too. I hope Carl isn't. I don't want to ruin his trip, but it seems like it passes over pretty Quickly. I don't feel anything right now, and I'm not sick in any other way either.
Whatever. I miss you guys.
Dec 21, 2008
The drops of rain, they fall all over.
You called right after I made that post- by coincidence or by design. You're right. I deserve so much more than I get. I'm becoming more like my father everyday. So passive, putting everyone else before himself...
I can't have those happy dreams for you tonight. It hurts so much. My lungs can't get enough air, I just keep breathing, and when it stops it feels like I'm dying. My lip keeps twitching and I can't stop shaking. It never hurt this much before. Why does it hurt so much? My face is wet. I just want it all to stop. I just want you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Make it stop.
Help me
I can't have those happy dreams for you tonight. It hurts so much. My lungs can't get enough air, I just keep breathing, and when it stops it feels like I'm dying. My lip keeps twitching and I can't stop shaking. It never hurt this much before. Why does it hurt so much? My face is wet. I just want it all to stop. I just want you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Make it stop.
Help me
It's a wonderful life as the red and green breaks the black and white
I like Quickies. And I like being logged into all of your stuff because you didn't actually Quit Firefox. Even though I could log in to your stuff anytime I wanted to because I have all of your passwords so... yeah.
Curling was amazing! I used to mock them on tv because it seems like such a ridiculous sport (which it is) but damn is it fun! And hard (except I already knew that much)! And I like hanging out with your silly scouts xD
I'm not sure how successful I will be at getting you what you wanted, I only have $10 and sometimes Dillon won't bother for that little, and I'm not sure if Kramer will get it for me either. Plus I have the weather to consider and the fact that they have to get it to me will not really convince anyone. This would be easier if I had a car or it was summer, but unfortunately I don't and it's not.
Anyhow, I love you a lot, and miss me up in Kalamazoo (which I know you will). Actually about this time, you're just getting out of mass (if it was at 9 still, that is), so bye I guess. I love you.
I on the other hand, am going to my grandma's for Christmas. I figured it was the lesser of two evils. I'd rather have complete disappointment than spend a day with my mother and my sister(s?). So, goodbye to all of you too.
Curling was amazing! I used to mock them on tv because it seems like such a ridiculous sport (which it is) but damn is it fun! And hard (except I already knew that much)! And I like hanging out with your silly scouts xD
I'm not sure how successful I will be at getting you what you wanted, I only have $10 and sometimes Dillon won't bother for that little, and I'm not sure if Kramer will get it for me either. Plus I have the weather to consider and the fact that they have to get it to me will not really convince anyone. This would be easier if I had a car or it was summer, but unfortunately I don't and it's not.
Anyhow, I love you a lot, and miss me up in Kalamazoo (which I know you will). Actually about this time, you're just getting out of mass (if it was at 9 still, that is), so bye I guess. I love you.
I on the other hand, am going to my grandma's for Christmas. I figured it was the lesser of two evils. I'd rather have complete disappointment than spend a day with my mother and my sister(s?). So, goodbye to all of you too.
Dec 19, 2008
I don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it
Eating oranges and typing are not good combinations. I should have thought this one out a little bit.
Anyway, I feel like a fever just broke. I'm all sweaty and hot, my hair is a mess, and I'm in my pajamas. But fortunately, I was just brushing a foot of snow off my trampoline. I woke up and realized no one was home. I looked out the back window and saw that my trampoline was about to break in half and I figured it would probably be a good idea to get rid of the snow. But, I didn't bother to take a shower or anything and I put on about 5 layers of clothes with 2 sweaters on top of my pajamas, and by the time I was done, I was about to keel over and die. It was a little bit much, but I didn't think that through all that much either.
But WHOO! NO school! I was so pissed this morning at about 3:30 because nothing had happened yet. I slept with my blinds open so that I could check on the storm progress. I was about to cry because I was so mad because I figured that we would still have school. So, in my frustration, I went back to sleep and at 5:30 when my alarm went off, I looked out the window and saw snow! I checked the news and saw school was canceled and then called Carl and told him not to wake up (even though I woke him up). Then I fell back asleep for about 5 hours.
That was my day, and it's only 11 in the morning right now. Imagine what will happen later.
Anyway, I feel like a fever just broke. I'm all sweaty and hot, my hair is a mess, and I'm in my pajamas. But fortunately, I was just brushing a foot of snow off my trampoline. I woke up and realized no one was home. I looked out the back window and saw that my trampoline was about to break in half and I figured it would probably be a good idea to get rid of the snow. But, I didn't bother to take a shower or anything and I put on about 5 layers of clothes with 2 sweaters on top of my pajamas, and by the time I was done, I was about to keel over and die. It was a little bit much, but I didn't think that through all that much either.
But WHOO! NO school! I was so pissed this morning at about 3:30 because nothing had happened yet. I slept with my blinds open so that I could check on the storm progress. I was about to cry because I was so mad because I figured that we would still have school. So, in my frustration, I went back to sleep and at 5:30 when my alarm went off, I looked out the window and saw snow! I checked the news and saw school was canceled and then called Carl and told him not to wake up (even though I woke him up). Then I fell back asleep for about 5 hours.
That was my day, and it's only 11 in the morning right now. Imagine what will happen later.
Dec 16, 2008
I came down to crash and burn your beggar's banQuet
Dwight thought it was me who told his sister that he smokes. I told him that I don't talk to his sister ever and she never comes around our house and that I don't care about whether he does or doesn't. I also reminded him of the code: You don't talk about it. And besides, only a nonsmoker would rat out a smoker. It's as simple as that.
It was James who did it by the way. Because he's an asshole. He says he's going to complain to the school about him smoking at the bus stop, just because.
Like I said, I don't care.
Show call's at 6 right? I thought I had signed up for tomorrow's show. I thought I had signed up for everything that Carl had. Now that I think about it though, I vaguely remember that I signed up before he did and just picked random dates. I STILL HAVE TO TAKE THE LIGHT AND SOUND TESTS. Keep on me about that.
It was James who did it by the way. Because he's an asshole. He says he's going to complain to the school about him smoking at the bus stop, just because.
Like I said, I don't care.
Show call's at 6 right? I thought I had signed up for tomorrow's show. I thought I had signed up for everything that Carl had. Now that I think about it though, I vaguely remember that I signed up before he did and just picked random dates. I STILL HAVE TO TAKE THE LIGHT AND SOUND TESTS. Keep on me about that.
Dec 14, 2008
You take your car, I'll take my bag, you take the wheel, I'll gather money for gas
There's a few things on my mind:
1. Thanks. A lot. I'm really glad I'm at the top of your list there.
2. How exactly would you go about turning a mexican or an indian into a white person?
3. I hate your mom. Probably just as much as you. She really has that special way of rubbing everything that's wrong about your life in your face, doesn't she?
4. WHY DO I HURT SO MUCH IN THE TUMMY?
5. You're a fucking creep. NOT EVER WITH YOU EVER EVER EVER. I'm not sure I can ever talk to you again after that.
6. A1 is good on chicken.
7. I have a lot of homework still.
... I'm done for now.
1. Thanks. A lot. I'm really glad I'm at the top of your list there.
2. How exactly would you go about turning a mexican or an indian into a white person?
3. I hate your mom. Probably just as much as you. She really has that special way of rubbing everything that's wrong about your life in your face, doesn't she?
4. WHY DO I HURT SO MUCH IN THE TUMMY?
5. You're a fucking creep. NOT EVER WITH YOU EVER EVER EVER. I'm not sure I can ever talk to you again after that.
6. A1 is good on chicken.
7. I have a lot of homework still.
... I'm done for now.
Dec 13, 2008
If you don't know what you want, you end up with a lot you don't.
I had a dream. I don't remember what it was about. I don't really think it was about anything. But when I woke up from it this morning, I decided that I was really going to start thinking about college and what I want to do with my life.
I've decided on Chemical Engineering, Major in Materials Science with an emphasis on Chemistry. I figure, I enjoy science and more of theory work, problem solving, you know? Plus it doesn't take very long to get a Master's Degree, and starting salary (if you get a decent job) is about 50K because there's a pretty good demand for Chemical Engineers. And if you stay in the field for 10 years, your salary is around 90 to 100k and you'll be in a more managerial position. Also, if you hold out for a Doctorate, your starting position will most likely be managerial, meaning higher salary.
All in all, it seems like a good idea. Of course there are some flaws, nothing's perfect, I mean, it doesn't mean I'll get a job right out of college anyhow, but it's something to go on at least.
Vous ne pouvez pas remplir le tamis.
I've decided on Chemical Engineering, Major in Materials Science with an emphasis on Chemistry. I figure, I enjoy science and more of theory work, problem solving, you know? Plus it doesn't take very long to get a Master's Degree, and starting salary (if you get a decent job) is about 50K because there's a pretty good demand for Chemical Engineers. And if you stay in the field for 10 years, your salary is around 90 to 100k and you'll be in a more managerial position. Also, if you hold out for a Doctorate, your starting position will most likely be managerial, meaning higher salary.
All in all, it seems like a good idea. Of course there are some flaws, nothing's perfect, I mean, it doesn't mean I'll get a job right out of college anyhow, but it's something to go on at least.
Vous ne pouvez pas remplir le tamis.
Dec 11, 2008
Dec 8, 2008
I don't know but I've been told, you never slow down, you never grow old
Tired of screwing up, tired of going down, tired of myself, tired of this town.
I'm sorry, there was just something that really knocked me out of it. I was just tired of being there. I think that even if you were going to crew I still would have left.
And despite how I may say it, I always mean it. There has never been a time where I took you for granted. I'm so glad I have you. Of course, it may be in retaliation sometimes, but the significance is always the same.
And by the way, I hope you're not mad because I took your silly little clay bowl home with me. That one I found mixed up in all your ornaments. In my defense, I told you I was going to. It's on my dresser next to your lego house :)
I'm sorry, there was just something that really knocked me out of it. I was just tired of being there. I think that even if you were going to crew I still would have left.
And despite how I may say it, I always mean it. There has never been a time where I took you for granted. I'm so glad I have you. Of course, it may be in retaliation sometimes, but the significance is always the same.
And by the way, I hope you're not mad because I took your silly little clay bowl home with me. That one I found mixed up in all your ornaments. In my defense, I told you I was going to. It's on my dresser next to your lego house :)
Dec 3, 2008
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now
You called me weird. It made me smile.
I think the reason we don't kiss with tongue as much anymore is because it mostly happens at school and it's not the easiest to just make out in the hallway.
You know, I love you more than words can say, and I love that I can make you laugh. I love when you try to teach me things and I love that you learn just as much as I do. I love when you're exhausted but you still run around and let me jump all over you. I love when you nom on my face and I love how you put up with all the silly things I do. I love how you are too good at hickeys now, and I love how you try to put me first even though it doesn't matter. I love when we knock each other over in the hallways and I love when you carry me around. I love when we trip over each other and I love how you always have time for one more kiss. I love how you don't care who's watching and I love how you know everything about me. I love how you can brighten my day just by threatening. I love the concentration on your face when you try to bump into me. I love when you complain to me about your teachers and I love that all of my friends know you and all of your friends know me. I love that you can convince me to do anything. I love that you would do almost anything for me, and I love that I would do anything for you. I love that you think I'm beautiful no matter what I say and I love that you try to tell me you're not. I love your silly head-bob-thing that you do in the hallway and I love your smile and your hair and the way your eyes squint when you laugh. I love how you can be very serious when you need to be, but you always manage to sneak in some ridiculousness. I love the way you smell and I love wearing your clothes. I love playing games with you, and I love being at your house. I love doing nothing but watching tv. I love being atypical with you and not going out that much (but I love it more when we do). I love stealing your stuff and I love our properly improper grammar. I love spending time with you and I love that final squeeze on my hand as we part ways. I love how you pick up just as many of my habits as I've picked up of yours. I love how you know what I'm talking about even if I don't. I love how you justify things with "but I do." I love how we have the same thoughts occasionally. I love how you make me better than I ever could have been. I love when you write me letters and I love just calling you to see how your day was. I love how unexpected you can be. I love your taste in music and I love your taste in general. I love how you laugh and I love you just being there. I love how you apologize for things all the time, even though I forgive you right away. I love how you ride a mile and a half there and back once a week even in the cold.
I love you sooooo much.
I love you *stretches arms* this much!
I love you more... but equally the same.
I love you everything.
I love you more than me or you or the whole world could ever imagine.
I love you x∞
I love you forever.
I love you.
I think the reason we don't kiss with tongue as much anymore is because it mostly happens at school and it's not the easiest to just make out in the hallway.
You know, I love you more than words can say, and I love that I can make you laugh. I love when you try to teach me things and I love that you learn just as much as I do. I love when you're exhausted but you still run around and let me jump all over you. I love when you nom on my face and I love how you put up with all the silly things I do. I love how you are too good at hickeys now, and I love how you try to put me first even though it doesn't matter. I love when we knock each other over in the hallways and I love when you carry me around. I love when we trip over each other and I love how you always have time for one more kiss. I love how you don't care who's watching and I love how you know everything about me. I love how you can brighten my day just by threatening. I love the concentration on your face when you try to bump into me. I love when you complain to me about your teachers and I love that all of my friends know you and all of your friends know me. I love that you can convince me to do anything. I love that you would do almost anything for me, and I love that I would do anything for you. I love that you think I'm beautiful no matter what I say and I love that you try to tell me you're not. I love your silly head-bob-thing that you do in the hallway and I love your smile and your hair and the way your eyes squint when you laugh. I love how you can be very serious when you need to be, but you always manage to sneak in some ridiculousness. I love the way you smell and I love wearing your clothes. I love playing games with you, and I love being at your house. I love doing nothing but watching tv. I love being atypical with you and not going out that much (but I love it more when we do). I love stealing your stuff and I love our properly improper grammar. I love spending time with you and I love that final squeeze on my hand as we part ways. I love how you pick up just as many of my habits as I've picked up of yours. I love how you know what I'm talking about even if I don't. I love how you justify things with "but I do." I love how we have the same thoughts occasionally. I love how you make me better than I ever could have been. I love when you write me letters and I love just calling you to see how your day was. I love how unexpected you can be. I love your taste in music and I love your taste in general. I love how you laugh and I love you just being there. I love how you apologize for things all the time, even though I forgive you right away. I love how you ride a mile and a half there and back once a week even in the cold.
I love you sooooo much.
I love you *stretches arms* this much!
I love you more... but equally the same.
I love you everything.
I love you more than me or you or the whole world could ever imagine.
I love you x∞
I love you forever.
I love you.
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