Choke me in the shallow water, before I get too deep

I don't know what the future holds
and I can tell you,

I am afraid.



There are moments where I feel disappointed for not being in the same classes as you guys. And there are moments where I'm very glad. But when your work carries over I sort of want to scream. Is it really all that earth shattering to start thinking about your own lives? Because honestly, it's a shock to me that you don't do this on your own.

Blunt confrontation aside, I'm rather content. We stopped arguing, which I'm thankful for, and we are supposed to have a lot of fun on Sunday. I was thinking that maybe we could go out to eat sometime? We had always promised to, and I suppose we won't have time to on Sunday. And maybe if your parents were feeling nice, we could go during the week. I could probably have you home around 7 if they wanted you.

I'm still feeling a little disappointed about light board today. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I look at the board and I just can't understand anything. I just can't stand the pressure of having to get everything perfect, and there's so much to mess up on. I really should have done it before break. Now I'm going to need at least another week or so to practice and be confident at it.

Which, by the way, thank you. For everything. I really can't tell you that enough. You have no idea what it means to me when you do what you do. You help me feel better and you can make me smile without even trying, and you don't make me feel like a failure for the first time in my life. Seriously, thank you.

I love you and I miss you, even though it's been all of an hour and a half, but you know how that goes.