May 29, 2008

When I was young I knew everything. She, a punk who rarely ever took advice.

I figured, since I'm not going to see you to give it to you, I will do it on here because I know you will read this. I have it on an actual note. I'll probably give it to you tomorrow.

I love how I'm not embarrassed to cry in front of you. I love how you don't take no for an answer. I love how I can share all of my fears with you and you can share all of yours with me. I love when you wipe away my tears. I love knowing that you'll cry with me. I love that you don't mind that I sometimes cry out my nose. I love that you always know when something is wrong. I love when you force me to look at you even though I just want to bury my head and cry. I love how you always know what to say to make me feel better. I love how you wanted to see tears drip out my nose. I love how you would wan me to move on. I love how you tried to get me to promise impossible things. I love how you know so much more than I do but don't rub it in. I love how we both wish for what the other has. I love how we could lay in bed not facing each other for minutes but the second I shed a tear, you always seem to roll over exactly then. I love how you called me on someone else's phone in the middle of school just to see why I wasn't there. I love how I had to call someone else to tell you I wasn't going to be at school because your cell phone has no minutes and I didn't want to call your house at an ungodly time in the morning. I love how I had to call her and ask to tell you because I was worried about you sitting there alone and disappointed when I didn't show up. I love how everything I do revolves around you. I love how I cried for half an hour after we hung up the phone because I felt bad about making you lonely all day. I love how you think that if you died it would be simple for me to just move on afterwards. I love how you expect me not to die if you did. I love how you think the circumstances would be different if you died because I died first. I love how you think that I could find another person after you're gone. I love imagining us as senile old people. I love walking down the street and seeing an old couple holding hands and knowing that we could be like that one day. I love how I spend all of my time thinking about you. I love how I can't do anything by myself but I'm just fine with that. I love how you do anything and everything I ask. I love how I do anything and everything you ask. I love the way you always like to joke around. I love being able to talk with you about anything. I love how you are willing to be essentially grounded for two weeks just to spend two hours with me. I love how I can read other people's descriptions of their love for each other and being able to relate exactly. I love when you ask for my help. I love looking into the future and not being able to picture you not in it.

call me when you get home? please?

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