What would you say if this blemished face with a crooked nose, had a chance to say whatever he wanted from his blemished world of the unknown?

"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off."
-Gloria Steinem

"It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship."
-Henry Ward Beecher

"The beginning of a circle is also it's end."
-Heraklietos of Ephesos

"Truth comes as conqueror only to those who have lost the art of receiving it as friend."
-Rabindranath Tagore

"Yet it is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes comes to the top."
-Virginia Woolfe

"I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth."
"Truth is the function of the beliefs that start and terminate among them."

-William James


Natalie: As much as I've ever wanted to criticize you for anything you've ever done, or as much as I have criticized you for the things you've done, I honestly can't condone it because, honestly, I know that if I was put in your position, I would probably behave the same way. In fact, even if I wasn't in your position, I can always envision myself being exactly like you. So, I guess in a sense, I see myself in you and I can't bear to go around and tear down my own self esteem. I can't tear down someone who I could potentially be. I just can't. And I'm sorry for ever doing it before. I don't want you to worry about anything I say about you though. I love you and I care for you, and obviously we all worry for your well being, but you seem to be taking care of yourself well. So what can I say? Your lifestyle may be different than mine, or anyone's, but it's yours and I shouldn't be the one to question how you live your life. They are your experiences to go through and I, nor anyone else have a right to judge. Of course, always take care of yourself, and be safe. Don't end up a crack whore, or pregnant (although, Chelsea and I would make you keep the baby), or something equally as serious, such as dead.

Katie: Honestly, more and more I find myself drifting further and further away from you. We rarely talk on the bus and we don't hang out with many of the same friends. It seems lately that a lot of people I know feel as if they aren't as important to you anymore. Some of the time I just feel like you use me (and others) for certain things. You don't make as much of an effort to keep in touch, especially when you have problems. And although you do share secrets sometimes, more often than not, I'm not the first person to hear about them. High school has changed everyone a great deal, but why do I feel like you're a completely different person? Why do I feel like you are replacing your old friends with newer ones? I guess in effect because you are but, everyone does it, so I cannot possibly blame you. I just wish we didn't have to come to this realization so soon.

Sahana: If I had to sum you up in two words, we all know what it would be: over dramatic. Even you yourself know it. And yet you do nothing to change it. You pour your heart out all the time online to the scrutiny of the world and yet you refuse to pour your heart out to most of the people you know. You obsess over boys, especially boys you cannot have and when you look back you realize how stupid you were to do so. COLIN. Where do I even begin with that? He told you straight up that you were over dramatic and obsessive and that you needed to get over him because he didn't love you the way you wanted him to and he never would, and yet you still idolize him, worship him, whatever means of extreme passion you would classify it as. You need to get over him, get over every guy. Because one of these days you will be in a real relationship, and it won't be perfect and you will obsess and destroy everything you love. Honestly, I can probably say pretty confidently that most of us that know you would like to slap you across your face and tell you to get it together and prepare yourself for the real world. Because there are no such thing as Edwards or Jacobs. Even the most perfect of guys will never be truly perfect, and when you compare someone to another person who is absolutely perfect, they will never even come close to your standards, and you will end up alone because you will constantly be consumed by the fact that they aren't comparable. You're only psyching yourself up for misery, pain, and true heartbreak.

Teri: (written by Chelsea) So from what I understand of you, it seems like you want a boy. Don’t kid yourself and say that no one reads your blog. You know for a fact that Andrea + I do. You’ve seen our comments. Unless making a post about how no one reads what you have to say was just a clever disguise for gaining comments, your mindset is completely off.

I’ve read your recent poetry, and must admit that I’m surprised. However, I don’t think that you could possibly understand what I’m trying to say in such short of a sentence. I’ll leave it to you, though. Feel free to make assumptions.

The truth is, you shouldn’t care about relationships that much. You’re only a Freshman in High School. You’ve lived one-fourth of your life so far. So? Does that entitle you to have to find another person of the opposite gender to spend time with? To start looking for that one person in High School is slightly preposterous. Actually, it’s completely preposterous. Oh, come on, you know that there are exceptions. Andrea + Carl, for example. That’s different. There’s no real way to prove it without someone else shooting it down, but you KNOW that that’s different.

The fact is, you need to stop looking and start living. I’ve completely given up on relationships, as of right now. Andrea’s helped me to realize that I just don’t NEED one right now. Do you really NEED one to make yourself feel happy? If you do, you’ve got a pretty low self esteem; lower than one could ever think possible. A relationship, in order to last, needs to have two people who are willing to help each other live and be okay NO MATTER WHAT THE COST. The two people in a relationship need to be able to show each other that they will always be there for them, no matter what. Are you seriously telling me right now that you’re looking for that one person, that one EXTREMELY RARE person that you want to spend the rest of your life with when you’re in HIGH SCHOOL? Sure, a lot of people do. You always hear about people who have been dating this one person since seventh grade. I’m one to question whether or not they started out with a real relationship or not. Whether or not they just had something that they wanted to call a relationship. It’s left to questions and speculation.

The point is, you need to stop regretting your past boyfriends. Your past “loves”, if that’s what you’d like to call it. Personally, I wouldn’t call it love, because you ended them all on good terms. A relationship was only good when it ends horribly. That’s when you know that you actually cared about them. That you can’t stand to not think about them in a romantic sense, and since you’re being forced to do so, you just can’t STAND them anymore. You just can’t bear being around them. Going back to someone that you’ve already left solves nothing. It only opens up old wounds, calling back past mistakes. Frankly, that’s not healthy. That never will be. Unless two people are absolutely sure that they’ve just passed up the best thing that ever happened to them, the absolute BEST thing, don’t call back an old relationship. Ever.

The thing is, Teri, is that I’d gladly follow you into the dark. If you need someone to talk to, about relationships, love, confusion, ANYTHING, I will be RIGHT HERE. Yes, I know that I’ve lost the friendship that we once had. You didn’t change; not much, anyways. I’m coming back to Churchill next year, you know that? I’m letting myself get closer to those who were already there. To those who I’ve left. And if you need to take advantage of my presence, go right ahead. I will be here. Whenever you need me, I will be here. Though I may lack coherency, though I might not say exactly what you want to hear, I will tell you what I believe to be right, and I’ll certainly tell you the truth. Keep faith in those who care for you; they know exactly who and what you need to love, and be loved.


(basically, I agree with Chelsea, although I can't say that her opinion is exactly mine.)

To anyone who ever thinks that they've felt heartbreak: Take a second and think about the relationship. If you've never been in one, then it's not heartbreak. Sorry to break the news to you. If you have been in one for a decent amount of time, think about how much you currently hate the person. How bitter you are towards them. If you absolutely cannot stand them, can't stand to be around them, you know that your relationship was pretty much the best thing you ever had. It means that you really cared about the person and it hurt you both inside to realize that it was actually over. Never regret your lost loves; it only leads to hurting the people who can and will love you in the future.

To basically all people that I am angry at: YOU HAVE NO PROBLEMS. YOUR LIFE IS FINE. GET THE FUCK OVER IT. YOU HAVE NO REAL RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS. YOUR NOT FAILING SCHOOL. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF WHEN YOU GO HOME AT NIGHT. YOU AREN'T DEPRESSED, OR LONGING FOR NON-EXISTENCE. YOU DON'T HAVE MENTAL PROBLEMS, IRRATIONAL FEARS, PARANOIA, TRUE INSOMNIA, NOR DO YOU ABUSE PHYSICAL SUBSTANCES. WHEN YOU'RE WILLING TO GET OVER YOURSELVES, I'LL BE HERE TO HAVE A REAL CONVERSATION ABOUT PROBLEMS.


I know there will probably be some people angry at the things I've said here today. And I encourage you to write the truth about me because I'm actually really interested in it. Of course I cannot really see the truth about myself as clearly as you can/do. Don't worry about hurting my feelings or something, because obviously, I didn't care that much about hurting yours (if I did).

"Truth springs from argument amongst friends."

-David Hume

Signing off,

I'm alright in bed, but I'm better with a pen
(The kid was alright but it went to his head)