things I'm afraid of:
Being alone, dying alone, losing someone important to me, rejection, failure, disappointment, being wrong, admitting I'm wrong, admitting I can't do something, forgetting the memories that mean most to me, hurting someone I love, being beaten, being in a roomful of strangers, being bold, doing what I tell other people to do, taking command, caring too much or too little, holding someone so close that I drive them away, being known as the freak, being hypocritical, my friends abandoning me, getting scared, waking up realizing I don't love someone anymore, someone waking up and realizing they don't love me anymore, taking sides, standing out, fitting in, being forgotten, fighting with someone I care about, not being pretty, not being invited along, living for a really long period of time, losing hope, going deaf and not being able to hear music, driving people away from me, losing time, everything being for nothing, dying slowly, losing wonder, dying inside, being dependent, being pitied, being ignored, being late, being the cause of drama, people worrying about me, growing up too fast, the future, the past, the present, making choices, change, disorganization, organization, similarity, pattern, randomness, life, what other people think of me, someone finding out what I think of other people, leaving the things I love behind, someone I love leaving me behind, walking in dark alleyways and streets alone, biking through the woods at night, running into someone I know but really don't like all that much in a place other than school and not being able to avoid them, being avoided, being talked about behind my back or otherwise, being known as the screw-up, forgetting what he smells like or feels like or sounds like or looks like, forgetting him period, him forgetting me, making a commitment to my future, not being able to breathe, that voice of rationality in my head that tells me that I might have something wrong with me mentally, overdosing, being lied to, being caught, guilt, shame, not finishing something, first impressions being right, becoming like my mother, being too possessive, getting jealous, letting things bother me, opening up to other people, being hurt emotionally, someone destroying something important to me, losing certain possessions, getting lost, walking in front of other people, crying in front of other people, being weak, letting other people's opinions matter to me, my sister being smarter or taller or better than me, my parents favoring my sister, being poor, losing my house, asking for help, receiving help, people thinking i need help, being hit on by creepy guys, not having someone to turn to, people not turning to me, making it all about sex, not having someone to protect me, no one caring about me, people caring too much, losing patience, losing grace, letting go, never seeing him again, losing originality, being dull, starving, being in trouble, being awkward, polygamy, having ugly children, having children period, not knowing what to do, being inexperienced, being hated by anyone, trying my best and still failing, other people being unappreciative or ungrateful, marrying someone like my father, becoming fat, people telling me what to do and how to do it, being bossed around by someone younger than me, being bossed around by someone older than me, being bossed around by anyone, making plans and keeping them, forgetting something that everyone else remembers, keeping dates, completing things on a deadline, being addicted, being socially isolated, messing up, competing, being in the spotlight, being overly annoying, not being normal, wasting my life being unhappy, having no self confidence, being vain, not being able to find humor in things, making others unhappy, being misinterpreted, underachieving, not knowing what to say or do, showing off, resentment, becoming psychotic, taking other people's advice, being pessimistic, being incomplete, having nothing to do, hesitation that causes something tragic, being able to save someone's life and not doing it, my thoughts, contracting a fatal disease, not accomplishing any of my life goals, dying before I feel I should
well jesus christ, I'm not scared to die, I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
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