I love the feeling of waking up and being sore in every part of your body. Where you barely have the energy or the strength to stand up or walk up a flight of stairs. I decided I'm going to run a mile every morning in the summer. I need to do something like that. Form a habit that will benefit me in the long run and keep my mind off of the trivial things.
And until the summer, I've decided I will actually try in gym. No more slacking off. Play the sport, don't worry about looking flushed or getting sweaty. I suppose all it took was a person like John to play "volleyball" with us. And while we weren't really doing anything, I still had fun and worked out. Carl always says I should try more to have fun in that class, but now I see what he means. It was fun, I enjoyed myself, I'm happier.
I know these revelations and resolutions are becoming repetitive in my posts, but this time, these are ones that are accomplishable. These are ones that I can start NOW and are realistically achievable.
One more. Sitting in the bleachers of the assembly the other day, and walking back into the school made me realize I shouldn't be afraid of the scars on my arm. I know I messed up. I know I had a problem, but I fixed it (I hope), and it's part of me. I don't care what anyone else thinks of it. I don't want to be afraid to wear t-shirts and I don't want to be sickly pale all summer. I want to feel good about myself. I don't want to hide anymore (Of course I'm still going to hide them from my mom, she doesn't know about my most recent ones, but at least I don't want to hide it from other people).
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