and who are you to lecture me?

time for one of these again, partially spawned from discussions with natalie at lunch.

1. all the things that happen to you, you've had coming to you. i think even you know that. you hold onto everything and everyone and have this fantastical view of the world. the only time i will ever actually feel sorry for you and your problems is when you finally get to experience what you've always dreamt of and then you ruin it because of your clingy, self-hating ways. all your ever going to do is drive people further away from you if you can't love the things you have and only grow jealous and longing of what everyone else does.

2. oh boy. what to do with you? it's pointless for me to sit here and complain about the way you live your life. i mean, no one can change you but yourself. and i guess we all live vicariously through you. but you know that you can't go on living like you do. it's fun while it lasts, but the party has to stop sometime. do you think that the things you do are going to be better in the longrun? all you do is mess up relationships with people, not just guys, but everyone because of your carelessness. i hate to sound like your mother, but you really need to shape up soon.

3. where have you been? not to say i need you as in i am dependent on you, or that i have a problem and you weren't there, but i need you. and all you seem to do is push me away. you care less and less about talking to me outside of school. we still have fun, but i fear that high school has changed us both too much to go back to the way things were.

4. next year! i hope it works out too. i don't doubt that it will. if it doesn't, i will make it. no matter what, next year will be better. i miss you! a lot. and you have such amazing friends. it seems that every time i turn around, you have someone new to introduce me to. i've made so many more friends through you than through school in general. some of those friends i have developed deeper bonds with, others i feel just as distant as the day i met them, but never do i regret knowing anyone that you know, because that means that they are interesting enough to be worth my time.


5. your an asshole. a big one. and every conversation we've ever had is fucking hilarious. your a good friend. even though your an asshole (believe it or not). you know quite a bit about me, and you know i don't expect sympathy, but thanks for not giving criticism. i've messed up a bit, and i know it. but thanks for not rubbing it in.

6. i want a taco. and a slurpee. you should buy it for me :) you know what? never mind. i'd feel bad taking money from you. i'll get $20 from my dad instead xD

7. HURRY UP AND BE UNGROUNDED. we need to celebrate. it's been a while. too long in fact. i miss you! is that strange to say? 5/1 i expect to party hard.

8. i love you. so much. i miss you every second of everyday. i know that sounds a little obsessive to most, but i do. i miss the way you smell, and the way you hold me, and the way your lips feel against mine. the way you accept me for everything i am, even though i can't. the way you can brighten my day no matter what. i love the way you laugh and the way you look at me and the way you joke with me and i love the way that you keep me close. you say all the right things at exactly the right time but you mean everything to me and i do know why.

9. ugh. i really just tire of hearing you speak. your a good friend and all, but you never talk about anything worth the effort of listening. and honestly, listening to your voice is one of the most annoying things i have ever done in my life. and i really can't relate to you anymore. your problems aren't even close to mine, and you tend to blow things out of proportion all the time.

10. two words: fucking creep

11. you know what? i really have nothing different to say about you other than what i said about #9. Your a fucking fatass and a whore who tries to play innocent. all i ever hear you do is complain about someone or gossip. can't you just deal with the fact that people are different? why does it matter that so-and-so is going out with whatshisname? and then your all over every guy you see and you try to tell me that you don't like them in that way. and maybe you don't, but all your doing is setting yourself up to be taken advantage of. And you know what else? all i ever do is see you eat. whenever you walk into math, the first thing you always say is "WHO HAS FOOD?!" you complain about how fat you are, even though your not. but if you continue on like this you will be, and i won't have any pity for you. I mean, at first i tried to help you, "Don't eat that. Give that to me, you don't need it." but do you remember what you did? you stole it back from me, yelled at me for taking your things and proceeded to eat another two. I'm tired of feeling sorry for you. Everything that happens to you, you bring upon yourself because if you spit into the air, it will always land back in your face.

12. your among many, many friends i find myself losing as the year goes on. not even purposefully, although i could make a case for you. of course i'm going to lose you if you isolate yourself from all the people you used to know. i've made an effort to keep in touch with you, but your the one who's not really trying. just don't say later on that you miss us, because that's obviously a lie.