"everything is awesome. fundamentally" -bickford schmeckler's epic sex poem

no. its not awesome.
i spent all night puking up blood, every 20 minutes.
i couldnt get to sleep either
i pretty much got most of my sleep, lying on the bathroom floor trying not to move.

i would shut my eyes and it would feel like i slept for hours, but when i opened them, it had only been 2 mins.
fucking sucked

so now im sore all over, my throat hurts, i can barely move, and my diet consists of soda, because i can't keep anything else down.
D:

and last night, ronda wouldnt leave me alone. everytime i puked she was right there asking if i was okay and when i told her i was she said, "no honey you're not" and so i'm like, yes i am, just let me vomit and leave me alone. she kept asking if i needed anything and kept bringing in washcloths and kept cleaning out the bucket whenever i did anything. I dont know how many times i told her to leave me alone. she just didnt get it.
she thought it was because i was a "big girl" and i wanted to do things on my own, which wasnt it at all. its just that my mom never did anything for me when i was younger. she just kind of let me be sick, and occasionally checked on me. its just all that ive ever known, and it was kind of wierd and annoying for ronda to be doting on me.

and aside from her not leaving me alone, she kept asking if i had taken anything, like drugwise, or if i had drank anything. which totally peeved me. why cant i just be sick? why do they always have to jump to the worst conclusions. im not stupid enough to do any illegal substances around them, and if i was, i've never before had a violent reaction to them anyway, well at least not like what happened last night.

bleh
i dont know how to end this post so i will just stop typ