I want you to know before you let me go, it's your fault I'm demoralized.

I've fucking had it with my mom. I can't stand being in that house anymore. I hate them all so much.

My mom came down to my room and said we should have a little talk. And we did. But it wasn't little. I got everything off of my chest that I had to. Well, most of it. It will suffice for now. I'm glad though. I made her cry. She won't be mad at me after that. I told her that I hated her, and I hated Gary. She told me I had to deal with it because this was our family now and I told her they weren't my family, they could never be, and I will never ever think of them that way. I know this hurts, it was meant to. Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one. Anyone who has seen me act around my mom, or anyone in that house could tell that i hated them. I just wonder why it took them so long to see it. My mom kept telling her that I don't treat people with enough respect. I do. Just not my family, because I don't have any respect for them. Every time she referenced something that I didn't do right, I would ask her if she was any different when she was younger, and you know what I would hear? Silence.
That was pretty much our whole conversation. Her pointing out my flaws, me pointing out those same flaws in her at my age, and then her silence. She did give me a few reminders as she left though: Be more respectful to her, Don't talk back, Listen to everything we tell you, blah, blah, blah. So I decided that I would just be courteously detached. Then it at least appears that I'm being respectful, and I pretty much never have to talk to them. I also decided that I will be there as little as possible, which means that I will be here at my dad's house a lot more. My mom kept saying that I come over here all the time, which isn't true at all. Let's count the days, shall we? Okay, so every Wednesday, and every other weekend, which is Friday night, Saturday and Sunday, so 3 1/2 days, and that is every other week. Yeah that is a shit load of time to spend at my dad's house. She also kept saying that she was tired of driving me everywhere, and that my dad should do it more. Umm, hello? My dad works all day from 7-6, so he's not around to take me places, and we are at my mom's all the time remember? It would make no sense for my dad to pick me up from my mom's, which is 10 miles from his house, to drive me to another friend's house, only to go home and then come pick me back up in an hour or two and drop me back off at my mom's. My mom is so fucking retarded.
I don't know why I even try to be nice to them at all, and I do, believe me. I hate spending my time arguing with them over the stupidest shit. It's pointless, because they use the "I'm the adult and therefore I am smarter than you and always right" card. NO. Your not always right, and I'm not always wrong.
Gary even had the gall, as he was "apologizing" to me for something that happened earlier, that he was still right, and that I can have an opinion, but it doesn't mean shit until I'm 18. And do you want to know what happened earlier and why he was apologizing in the first place? Because he was forcing the baby to go to sleep when she didn't want to and I told him just to put her down and let her play some more because she wasn't tired. He fucking exploded. "What makes you think you know more about raising kids than me? You're fucking 15, I've raised two kids already, I'm an adult, I have way more experience than you and I'm always going to be 3 times smarter than you. You have no right to say what that baby wants, and how I should take care of her. I am way smarter than you. WAY smarter. So next time you want to put in your opinion on how I take care of children, you can fucking keep your mouth shut." Because he's the fucking King of the Castle, and what he says goes.

I don't know how I will survive the next year. And I'm so glad it will only be a year, then I can move to my dad's house permanently, or just plain move out. Live with a friend or something. I bet my mom would be pissed when she finds out about this plan. I don't even know why, because her mom was never around and she spent pretty much all of her time at her friend's house. She is such a fucking hypocrite.

Whatever. I'm done with them.