Hey call the angels, this razorblade was meant for me, Hey call the angels, we'll mutilate insanity

im being pressured from unnamed sources, namely carl, to update because lord knows that you all cant live without an update for a few days while i am non-existant at my dad's house.
anyways, i've been rather moody lately. as expected. for no reason i will just burst into tears or get so angry and anti-social that even i can't stand it. and yesterday i was sick. physically that is. i'm always mentally sick. but it was only for that day. actually the day before too but who's counting?

I was trying to avoid this, but it seems like a public service announcement is in order, just for your safety that is:

so hypothetically if i were to actually have a birthday, it would be coming up in the next few days or hypothetically tomorrow, but again, who's counting?
but i do NOT have a birthday and it is NOT tomorrow and it will NOT be celebrated because i hate my birthday and i have never had a good one and i dont think that having one this year will change my outlook on birthdays that i've had the last 14 years and possibly the next lord-knows-how-many. SO, i am advising all of you out there reading this, and i kid you not i am not kidding, i will punch you in the face if you so much as even breathe the words happy birthday to me. or type it for those of you who cannot be in physical contact with me. it would be best to just forget about it, as i was trying to do, but of course after lunch my sweetheart jessica made a point to shout it all over the hallway and attract the attention of everyone i know in that particular hallway, and they thus crowded around me and would not stop heckling me. and at lunch it just got worse.
i know my friends all too well and i am seriously debating about actually going to school tomorrow. just to spite you all.

aside from my birthday woes, it appears that everyone else i know is falling into a state of somewhat depression or coming out of one. i dont know which is worse. i dont know which i can handle better. either way, they are both dragging me with them leaving me suspended in limbo forced to choose sides, which i know, they know, we know, is impossible. how to deal, how to deal?
i know. the same way i have always dealt with it. just drop it and leave it alone.

She walks the line into her deathbed rings
I say she's all alone
Begging for forgiveness
I won't teach her to lie or make a plan
That clairvoyant stare and grin
God won't forgive me
For this I know
Tragedy unfolds tonight
As you sever my skin apart
Take this sadness and close your eyes love

Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me
Hey, call the angels. We'll mutilate insanity

She cuts a vein although it's much too dull
I say she's all alone
Fighting for redemption
I know little pain, a little lust
I lose myself at night to feel the rush
Of tearing my skin apart
Now take this sadness and close your eyes love

Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me
Hey, call the angels. We'll mutilate insanity

Go deeper, I feel it
I see your ghost appear
Go deeper, I see it
I feel your ghost appear
I will say goodbye tonight (We'll sleep forever)
Hold on, hold on tonight love
We'll sleep forever
Hold on, hold on tonight love
We'll sleep forever
Hold on, hold on tonight love
Close your eyes