Said it's cold in this town, and there's snow on the ground. Far from home, not alone, I've left you with nothing and that's what you owe.

I bought new shoes. They're white converse. They will not be white tomorrow. You all will help me with that.

Liz: It was Chelsea. In the car. Saying goodbye.

*sigh* I made you feel happier, but I just made myself more frustrated. It's not you, I swear it. It's me. I'm frustrated because I can't seem to grasp the light board. I mean, sure I've gotten a lot of it down, but when it comes to you calling out cues, I just freeze up and I can't comprehend what you're saying. The words just go in one ear and out the other and my brain is left behind trying to make sense of it all. And looking at all of those toggles and dimmers just overwhelms me. Plus, it doesn't help when I make stupid little mistakes and so nothing I do turns out right.

It's not even really the light board. I mean, a lot of it does have to do with the light board, but math too, and chemistry. I just can't seem to process what I'm doing anymore and it's only been a month of school. My memory is lapsing and I keep forgetting little things and making little mistakes, but they just keep adding up. I'll remember to bring home my stuff for one subject that I finished my homework in, and forget the stuff for the subject that I actually have to do.
It's just hard to feel like I'm doing anything right anymore.

And the other thing is the fact that I don't like when I don't know things; I've told you this before. I don't like it when I feel inferior to everyone else. I don't like it when I feel like I'm not on the same page, like I'm being left behind, and that's how I'm starting to feel now. I feel weak.

I need a few days off to recuperate, but losing time isn't going to help me any.
I can't handle this. You said I need to learn to ask for help, so I will.

Help me.