Pick up the phone nobody's home, im all alone, We've all been here before

now i feel even more like shit.

i fell back asleep and didnt sneak out to go see carl. and im sure he's probably mad at me. or dissappointed, again. i dont blame him. i deserve it.

im a horrible person. i went back on my promise, even if it was unintentional. and its not the first time that i dissappointed everyone for not keeping promises. i dont understand why everybody doesnt hate me. i have to be the worst kind of friend.

i woke up and i sat there on the floor in front of my mirror and just tried to think of some way to apologize for what i did. and i realized that no matter what i said, even if it didnt make carl mad, it wouldnt make me hate myself less. i dont deserve anything i have. i dont deserve my friends, or carl, or even the right to be alive right now. and if it wasnt for carl and my friends, i probably wouldnt be.

I'm sorry that im such a dissappointment to you

and im even more sorry that im such a dissappointment to myself.