When you turn down the key to the town and your social being

This really has been an interesting break.

I've been stoned-a lot.
I've eaten seafood-a lot (mind you, for the first time ever).
I've watched movies-a lot.
I've been lazy-a lot.
I've been busy-a lot.
And for a spell had only showered once in 3 days (which is more than half of this break).

I hung out with Steve!
and saw Kurt again [which was really awkward, Katie] (and he remembered who I was).
Carl hung out with Steve (even as brief as it was).
I hung out with Natalie (including being in her house for the first time ever)!

This break dragged on forever. I loved every second. I feel fantastic, honestly.
And this week will be just as good.



Wednesday?
This weekend?

High hopes.

We're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all.

I just realized, I have no real connections anymore.
FUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I need to start making some new friends.

But, good news!
I have birth control! And Carl is allowed over at my dad's house again! And we set up our Christmas tree! And that crazy little elf village with lights and trees and shit! And tomorrow I'm probably gonna get trashed with my dad's friend Dean and maybe Katie and/or Carl! AND next weekend Katie and I might possibly be hanging out up at Central and partying HARD with Steve and the gang! Although it's still sort of undecided as of yet because we need to get ride approval and then have a convincing lie for our parents, plus money.



Ahh well. Things are... decent? Looking up, though generally down? I'm not sure. I've been really thrown off by this break. It seems to be stretching on forever, but it's gonna suck really bad when it does end.

I don't want to look at you this way

I WANT THIS SO MUCH.



AND THIS

OR THIS








PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET IT FOR ME.

Die young and save yourself.

I love Brand New a lot. If love was eQual to an amount in tons, it would be 293,847,298,374,918,348,394,892,384x10^∞. Which yes, is two hundred ninety-three septillion, eight hundred forty-seven sextillion, two hundred ninety-eight Quintillion, three hundred seventy-four Quadrillion, nine hundred eighteen trillion, three hundred forty-eight billion, three hundred ninety-four million, eight hundred ninety-two thousand, three hundred eighty-four times ten to infinity. Which is a lot. I actually had to look up some of those prefixes for the number classification.

For example, I bet you did not know that 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 is called one novemdecillion? Or that if you add another three zeros, it's called vigintillion and that 10^99 is called duotrigintillion? The Greek-based name for the three previous numbers were: icosillion, icosihenillion, and triacontatrillion. And, 10^100 or 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 is one googol.I feel smart. Except not really. This is not practical at all.


I'm so fucking weird, but, I don't care. Not anymore at least.






I don't really have anything to say right now. There are maybe 6 people in the entire world who know what I've been going through, and now that it's over, only those 6 can really understand how I'm feeling.
Now it's just time to pick up where I left off. For a while there, time was standing still.

I have to wait until Monday to get on birth control. They are implanting something in my arm for 3 years, but they have to synch it to my hormones so I have to be on my period, but the office isn't open on weekends. Unfortunately, my period only lasts about three days, so Monday is pretty much our only shot until next month.





Now, Tuesday night is wide open, plus, we won't have school the next day.

^^

Your skin attached, this fragile cliche of my broken heart attack

You should swallow your teeth and hang out and stay for a while.


I'm sorry for earlier today, before the show. The stress is getting to me, more than you can imagine. I've just got so much to deal with right now, any little thing can set me off. I just need you to be there to help me out of it. I'm sorry I got mad at you, because I know I hate it when you get mad at me. But even you could see that you make me smile even if I'm upset. I know everything will work out fine in the end, but it doesn't help that we have to go through so much shit to get there.


I'm not sure if it's because I'm hormonal or I'm just freaked out, and that doesn't help either. You know. Those thoughts don't go away.

Anyhow, I'm sorry. I hate getting mad at you because then I always feel bad afterwards.



P.S. I made another one of these, but I don't think it's as good as the first.