It's not so much that I need you all to help me in becoming more truthful. It just would've been nice if I could have a little recognition from you, any of you.

I can't eat anything without shoving my hands down my throat

You know I'm a liar. I've admitted it numerous times before, and I suppose I am admitting it again now. You all have enough common sense to know when I'm not being truthful, even if I don't spell it out for you.

So it begs the question then, why have none of you responded to the previous post? Do you simply ignore me when I ask things of you? Do you only pay attention to the things I say when you want to copy my ideas? I asked little of you. I've waited one week. I figure that even those of you who don't check other people's blogs all the time would have seen it by now. And yet, not one of you humored me. Not even the people who I've obviously lied to the most.

I could lie to myself and say that maybe you haven't read my blog yet. But I know that it's not true. I know that most of you check every single day.

It leaves me baffled, and I must admit a little hurt, that when I try to be honest for once and come clean about my past and no one cares to even listen. Society as a whole is confusing, but I would have figured that my support group might actually support me. Instead, I am ignored for more trivial things.

Perhaps I am being a bit selfish. I mean, all I ever talk about is change, for better or for worse. How am I expected to believe that you sit here day to day and read the same bullshit over and over again, just rephrased? Clearly I am the one who is at fault right? Expecting someone to actually take initiative and follow my instructions is most obviously a ludicrous thing to think any of you were capable of.

There is no use to apologize. Oh, I was going to comment today, but...
Save it. I don't want to hear it. That is an even more bold-faced lie than any I've ever told you. The fact of the matter is, you didn't do it. Plain and simple. You've had plenty of time, but I suppose just not enough reason.

Anyway, thanks for reading, if any of you did. It's hard to try and be honest when no one cares. Maybe I was better off lying. My suggestions to you: don't expect me to be honest with you now.

I've sent my letters "everything's fine" but I lied

Name everything you think I've ever lied to you about. We'll see how good you are.



Or rather, how good I am.

"Wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one fills up faster."

I wish you had more time
I wish things were better
I wish I had faith in anything
I wish I never made mistakes
I wish I had tacos
I wish I had more money
I wish I had some drugs
I wish I had more freedoms
I wish you had more freedoms
I wish I could stop thinking of all the things that won't be
I wish I could let go of things
I wish I would take advice
I wish Anna wouldn't fail Geometry
I wish the fabric of the universe was not essentially in my hands
I wish I was perfect
I wish I made them proud
I wish...

What are the odds of me letting you down?

"I want to be monumental. I want people to know my name."










-She says as she sinks back into anonymity.


I suppose it's because of 6th hour. I had a dream that I was Ghandi. Which is funny because I've missed practically the entirety of the movie.


When I was younger, my internal alarm clock was set to 5:30. I would always wake up within 5 minutes of 5:30. No more, no less.
Now it's set to 9:30. I can go to bed as late as I want. Try to wake up as early as I want. I will sleep until 9:30. Pretty much exactly.

I'm glad it's almost summer.



Are you positive I'm not going to see you for the fireworks? If not, it's okay, because we were planning on inviting you to a different festival that is after the 4th. They have better fireworks.
But it would have been nice to be with you again this year.